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You will want to make the relationships between topic sentences clearer, so that your paragraphs don’t seem like independent subtopics.
you have a subjective angle (for how the topic affects people), this is NOT a persuasive genre. Any indication of you or your opinion does violate specific genre conventions.
I will add a previous essay for an example of observations since you need personal observation on body image issues. But please do not copy anything word for word.
The first half of the essay is done, I just need the other half done. You can just add more paragraphs or words.
The essay should read like Ryan Kohls’s essay Clean Sweep.
It should not read like a regular all facts report.
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